A secret to tell...

I have a secret to tell you that really changed my life. I'm an adopted child when I was 7 years of age and then moved to Canada with my adopted parents when I was 10. My adopted mother is my Aunt. So in a way I'm related to her. Both my adopted father and mother actually already lived there for oh I don't lets just say almost decades. They don't have children of their own. So I was there with them at the age of 10 still trying to adopt with the environment as I was used to Philippine culture. Oh yeah I adopted quiet well. They sent me to a very good school, a Montessori school in Langley and they also enrolled me to study ballet and other stuff. I had a life of a princess there. Then suddenly everything turned upside down. I was already 15 that time, my mom picked me from school and then went straight to ballet class. When I came home around 5 or 6 I couldn't remember exactly but I remember the exact moment. My mom talked to me in our dining table she was in front of me. I was so blind to what she would tell me. When she burst out the words that "pack your things and you are going home to the Philippines. You exactly have 2 hours to get ready and we will go immediately to the airport" I was so shocked and so frozen and couldn't think of what to do and what to say. It's like my whole world has crashed down on me and my future became suddenly shaky. As I packed my things, nothing is coming out of head, I couldn't think straight at that moment. I don't know if I would be happy or sad or mad! As I finished packing almost all my things we immediately went to the airport with my mom and dad. I was still confused of whats happening. No one would seem to tell me. Then we landed Manila, Philippines June 22, 2005. It was almost my birthday. We went to many places that time. Then we went to Cebu. There my grandmother was waiting for me. I'm going home with her not with my adopted mother. So at that moment everything just went shit!!!! So young and naive I didn't know what it was for. Then my adopted mother told me "You will never ever heard from me ever again. Don't ever expect me to call you or to give you any money" Is that right that I heard from her. My adopted mother told me that. She just left me like a garbage can and she returned me like an unfit dress that she bought in the store. Until now I don't know why she did it to me. She ruined my life in a young age! I could not forget that moment! That moment of hell! She took everything from me! She took my passport, my citizenship card, my everything! She has it all. Until now, I'm already 18 years old, still no sign of her. She did not even support me financially and emotionally. I think this is not right! She is suppose to be my fucking mother! and what now!? she doesn't care about me?! Every night I cry for this thing! Now I don't know what's wrong with me!? Ahm I a bad daughter?! What did I do?!!! I was just a kid for crying out loud!!! She doesn't have a heart! Now, I'm afraid of everything. I became so insecure with myself because I always think that I'm bad. What she treats me before when I was there in Canada, she treats me like hell!! She didn't made me feel like I belong to her family! What I am now, is just all wrong?! I'm still searching for the answer why she did this to me? A secret that she would never tell me....